Friday, October 30, 2009

Help it's Halloween!

I haven't posted because Halloween is kicking my ass and it hasn't even happened yet. My Step-Mother has been in town too. I've tried to be attentive so she doesn't go home thinking we didn't give a poo that she was here. Hard to do when your tired. Tonight I get to go to dinner...glad it will involve seafood and beer, and then we're going to a high school football game. My Niece plays in the band and I feel like a crappy Aunt because I didn't go to a single game last year or this year. I was pregnant and tired last year and now I'm just tired. My excuse and I'm sticking to it. I really do want to see her play, but I'd just as soon poke a stick in my eye than watch the game.

Now back to my needing help. We're having a "small" kids Halloween party tomorrow night and the guest list keeps getting bigger. Shit! Some weren't coming and now are, some we're maybe's that are now yes's. Invite them and they will come. Thank God the weather is suppose to be nice. Since most of these folks have kids it will be an early night. (I hope, like I said, I'm tired.) We're looking at about 30 people. That's really not that big but for some reason I do a mental freak out every year when the list gets big. My Husb so nicely reminded me of this. Halloween being on Saturday is a bonus...I'll get more help. Ok, I'm over my freak out. Promise to take lots of pictures. Cause I'm doing it right! Gotta go carve a watermelon into a brain now. Happy Halloween!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Toilet Humor!

I have a dirty little secret. We have a baby blue toilet in the master bathroom. I use the term master bathroom loosely because it's a little bigger than a closet. Ya see, not everything is bigger in Texas. We live in a three bedroom house built in the early 1960's. We bought it from a friend of my Mom's 11 years ago right after we got married. We planned to live here no more than 5 years. Well, we passed that by 6 years. The thing is, we didn't pay much so our mortgage is awesome. The house is in a suburb just about 2 miles north of Dallas. Great location, no alley, nice yard and safe neighborhood. I'd also like think we're being green by not living in a huge obnoxious house. (Even though I'd add a second floor and pool in a second if I had the jack!) So we're stay'in. We remodeled the living room by knocking out the dining room wall and also updated the kitchen. We haven't touched the back of the house, hence the beau-T-ful blue bathroom.

Last night I get a call from a friend that has been out of town taking care of family stuff. Her husband's 97 year old grandmother has a house that has been shut up for 4 years while the Grandmother has been in a nursing home. My friend has been sending me pictures of stuff they have found in the house. The electricity was off for four years...small water leaks, you kinda get the idea. One picture she sent was of a Jim Beam bottle in the shape of a cat. I looked on dates 1967. Wow! Anyhow, she says she has something for me from Grandma's house. Needless to say, I'm worried and kinda scared. What in the hell could it be? My friend and her husband show up on our doorstep....with a brand new toilet. White...never been out of the box! I can't believe I'm so EXCITED about a toilet! But I am!!!! I'm so happy they thought of me when they saw that toilet! It really is the gift that keeps on giving!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

What ya think?

OK, so as you can see, I've been experimenting. I'm kinda sucky at computer stuff so I'm proud that I actually was able to get a different background for my blog. I wanted something a little funky but not too much. I find that sometime blogs are really distracting and hard to read cause of all the shit on them. I don't want to be like that. I also figured out how to enlarge the font size. Duh...that was easy. I guess I don't usually have time to sit around and mess with this kind of stuff. Someone always wants something from me. Waaa waaaa waaaa....I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, I don't want to watch I Carly. You get it. Anyway, how does it look? Do you hate it? Any suggestions for better sites for blog layouts. Some of ya'll have awesome looking blogs and I want to be just like you! Well...after reading some blogs...maybe not exactly! Hardy har har!

Friday, October 23, 2009

11 years!

Eleven years ago tomorrow I married the Husb. We got married in the evening so we could have a rock'in reception. With financing from my Mother, I'd like to think we did a pretty good job! We had an awesome Blues Band that brought down the house! The funny thing is, recently I have seen some news stories about the lead singer. The dude was old then or so I thought. I just assumed he wasn't around anymore. Ok, I assumed he was dead. I guess he isn't that old. The news stories talked about how a bunch of kids kept showing up to his gigs. The thing is...his name is Joe Jonas. Yeah, not that Joe Jonas. In my opinion, he is much better than that one. I thought that was kinda funny. Kids are so freaking stupid. Yeah, Joe Jonas and his brothers are playing at the small Blues bar Memphis in a strip mall. Righttttt!

Today a van pulls up in front of the house and the Husb acts like he doesn't know who it is. A florist brought an beautiful floral arrangement to the door. What a sweet Husb. He is so getting some tonight. This week he's been calling it our anniversary week. He got that from a friend of ours. Each year she has her "birthday week". The Husb said he didn't know why I couldn't have an "Anniversary Week". I so agree! Hehe! He's really making some of my friends husbands look bad. Tomorrow we're going out to the Fondue place where we had our first date. It should be fun and I promise not to "almost" get kicked out like I did that time. Did ya know it's never a good idea to throw ice in boiling oil? Happy Anniversary Husb! I think I'll keep you!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Play with me!

Dirty minded people! I know what your thinking...ewww. Today my baby (5 year old!) is having his first "alone" play date. His buddy's Mom asked last week if she could take him home from Preschool to play with her son. Sure! Sounds great. I just can't figure out why I'm a little concerned. Should I have asked the question about guns in the house...and are they locked away? Do I want to come off as some paranoid helicopter parent that can't let their kid take a poop without knowing about it? I'm new to this take a kid home thing. This Mom has an older kid so she's already got it all figured out. Me, not so much. I'm going to be brutally honest here...brutally. I don't want to take anyones kid home. Ever. A lot of the time I don't want to take mine home...why add to it? I get it, kids need interaction to get along with others. Isn't that why I'm paying $380 bucks a month for preschool? Now I'm here wondering if T is freaking out because essentially some strange woman is taking him some place he's only been to once. OR is he like, "Mom who"? He's not exactly what I'd call a Mama's boy. Ok, not at all. I'm working on the little one being Mama's boy. I want to be kinda like those Mama's on the show "Mama's Boys". It was a horrible reality show and no, I don't want to be totally like that. These Mama's were beyond control freaks. I just want my boys to realize that when I tell them their girlfriend is a scank hoe, I know what I'm talking about. Glad I only have two boys to worry about instead of all the boys. Yes...still worried til he gets home.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


I've always felt that the second child gets jipped. Perhaps because I'm a second child? Yes, sometimes parents are so damn tired after the first, that the second kid may have gotten away with a lot more too. I prefer to think I was better behaved and therefore earned more. Now that I have a second...I realize the parents were just done. When I was pregnant with T, I had the book that told me what was supposedly happening everyday. The Husb would come home and I'd greet him with, "I developed the baby's lungs today, what did you do?" I religiously read the book so I'd know exactly what to expect. The second pregnancy finally comes along...I filled in the dates above T's, no use wasting $ on a new book. I think I looked at it twice. Jipped. I filled out each section of T's baby book every week. I've had to guesstimate almost everything with Poppy's book. Jipped. I took pictures on every occasion with T. Now I'm lucky if I remember to bring out the camera. Jipped.

Tonight I'm feeding the baby and wondering how the hell to figure out how much to feed him. I have no idea. When T started eating, I was so excited, I looked up everything. I knew how many bottles a day he drank, how much he should be eating, what he should be eating. Now? Not so much. I decided to feed Poppy about what I thought the size of his stomach could hold. We don't want any puking ya know. I don't know if baby's are like feral cats or what. I know a lot about cats. Some cats like that eat til they puke. He could of eaten more...but like I puking. So, if he wanted more? Jipped.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Happy Birthday to me...

OK, it's not my birthday til November 20th! My friend D, Sister and I went on Saturday to this craft/swap meet kinda place called McKinney Trade Days. They have a few vendors that sale wrought iron. Did ya know I totally dig anything metal? Well, that and I have a bit of a stained glass addiction. Just ran out of windows for it. I have all kinds of awesome wrought iron! A windmill looking thing the Husb hates. I have metal pumpkins, a metal cornucopia, a metal Christmas tree, two metal cats, I even have a metal mosquito. You get the idea. So, we're cruising around the Trade Days and come across the vendor with all the wrought iron stuff. Ohhh...Ahhhh! I need more wrought iron like I need a hole in my head. The Husb would kill me. But not Sister! They had two awesome Peacocks for sale. Yep...I don't have a Peacock! She decided she had to have one. Of course, I didn't just fall off the turnip truck...I have no business buying a $49 Peacock. Sister knew I was eyeball'in it and guess what? I got me an early birthday present!!! Isn't he cute?! Now he just needs a name!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Oh to be young...

Let me start by saying to my Niece, I'm not ragging, just reporting! When I was young and unfamiliar the same thing could of happened...well maybe. My Niece that just moved to Austin decided to come to Dallas this weekend. Three other friends came with her including a guy she met while traveling in Europe. This chick has guts...traveled Europe basically alone for almost 3 months. Occasionally a friend or family member popped in during her journey. Not something I would think of doing alone. Anyhow, Niece and friends come to Dallas. Before they leave she e-mails with a few questions. First, where's a good place to go dancing? Haha...she's asking people with two kids and 40. (I'm not 40 but really really close). Can't tell you the last time I went dancing at a club. Second, where to watch the Texas/OU game. Easy...Victory Park. It has huge screens outside and is suppose to be cool. No, I've never actually watched anything thing there. I have been to a Stars Hockey game and Mavs Basketball game at the Arena though. Third, a good Mexican restaurant. Easy breezing...I'm really good at food! The Husb ask where they are staying. She doesn't know yet.

This is where it gets interesting. Remember when you were young, just starting out in life and didn't have a pot to piss in? Well, that's where she is. She has found that getting a job in Austin isn't as easy as once thought. Austin's a bitch. Awesome fun town. Great music and food. Beautiful and right on the edge of Texas hill country. There lies the problem. Nobody wants to leave. A friend of mine told me his wife would make $20,000-$30,000 more a year at her job as a Physical Therapist if they moved to San Antonio. Needless to say the job market is tight and she isn't making a ton of money.

Niece calls yesterday and tells the Husb where she has booked a room thru Priceline. The motel is in South Dallas close to Fair Park. Ever been to Dallas? You DO NOT want to be in that area of town, especially at night. I wouldn't be surprised if they rent the rooms by the hour. Picture hookers, homeless and Meth. Enough said. Priceline reviews were ok she said and it was the cheapest she could find. We read reviews that were more along the lines of, "This is the scariest place I've ever stayed", "I wore flip flops in the shower because I didn't want to get a disease", oh and my favorite, "The dirty toilet seat wasn't attached and there was a dead lizard in the toilet." Ewwwww.... Her parents would be pissed if they knew we let her stay there. Regardless if there were a couple of guys with her or not. We convinced her to try and cancel even if she couldn't get a refund. The Husb got her a room at Motel 6 in Addison...a much much nicer part of town. Thank God. Just between you and I Motel 6 makes me go ewwww...but I am spoiled with really nice places that Delta usually puts us up in. The Double Tree is roughing it for me. Glad the Husb and I were on the same page. It was so worth the $ not lose sleep over it...or to get a phone call that her car had been stripped. Oh to be young and....

Friday, October 16, 2009

When Insects Fly!

Last night started off pretty good and went down hill from there. We went to dinner with a bunch of family friends that are in Dallas for Texas/OU weekend. We do it every year. Apparently Poppy hates Pappadeaux and going out at bedtime. My angel baby turned into whiny baby. Mr T...not much better by the end of the night. We get home and all I wanted to do is watch my DVR'ed Grey's Anatomy. We put the kids to bed and sat down for an awesome show. Twenty minutes into it, a VERY large insect flies from the fireplace to the front door, changes it's insect mind and flies back to land on top of TV cabinet. I ask the Husb what the hell it was...a hummingbird? He gets up with a magazine in hand. It's a HUGE roach. (Also known as a water bug). But wait, roaches don't fly you say. Yeah, me too. I don't know if this was some freak mutant roach or an over achiever roach or what. The thing flew like a bird.

I love the Husb. He is really good at a lot of things. He sucks at killing roaches. He always misses. Rolled up magazines don't work. Crocs work. The Husb goes after the roach and guess what? He misses. Not such a big deal if it's not a mutant roach. This roach however launches itself off the TV cabinet and flies directly at my head. I jump off the couch all the while screaming curse words at the top of my lungs. The damn thing lands on the back of the couch and crawls down inside the couch. Excuse my language...fuck! I retrieve a Croc from the bedroom and start helping take all the cushions off the couch. After moving it around and lifting the couch the bastard crawls out and runs under the coffee table. He's trapped. Well guess what? Now we can't find him and I'm pissed. All I wanted to do was chill and watch Grey's. Now I'm on my hands and knees carefully taking all the books and shit off the shelf under the table. God forbid the damn thing fly out at me. After 10 minutes of looking, we give up. I'm pissed off big time. I watch the rest of Grey's while keeping an eye out for flying roaches.

Fast forward 1:20am. Baby is up. I get the bottle, the Husb feeds him. I go to the bathroom on the way back to bed. The bastard roach comes running into the bathroom. My Croc isn't handy so I grab a can of hairspray and blast him. He runs out down the hall. I whack him with the can and run to find my Croc. After 3 wacks the bastard is finally dead. Oh the sweet victory I feel. I do a happy dance in hallway and go to tell the Husb I've killed that Fucker. Dead dead dead! His response? "Umm...ok". Hello??? Just killed Mutant Cockroach! It was great. No matter what one might say about Crocs, Croc flip flops rock!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Out of the Mouth of Babes!

I've often thought that young kids should be able to understand baby talk because they were so recently baby themselves. Why can't T tell me what Poppy wants or is saying? When I ask him, he just looks at me like I'm crazy and says, "I don't speak baby".

What do you think babies would say if someone could understand their language? I think Poppy says:

*Don't push my legs like that, your going to make me fart.

*Help, I've fallen and I can't get up.

*HELLLLLOOOO...over here please!

*Why does this food taste so bland?

*Awwww man, I peed myself again!

*Put me to bed already!

*Could you please go brush your teeth? Your breath is killing me.

*Please please stop patting my ass!

What do you think baby's would say?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Let's Be Fair!

Today we went to the Texas State Fair. There is nothing like it! Ok, there probably is but I'm trying to make it seem big and grand. Kinda like Texas it's self. Yes, I'm from Texas. It's not just a's a state of mind! Hehe! At the Fair, fried food is where it's at. We had a corny dog, but passed on the fried peanut butter sandwich, fried oreos, fried snickers, fried Twinkies and fried pizza. Yes, I said, fried pizza. Just plain sick. We did partake in the new Fried Butter. Sounds sick too. Not too bad really! Kinda tasted like a donut with oozy warm butter inside. Weird! I wonder if all State Fairs are into this fried shit.

Mr. T was totally digging all the rip off games. We spend $20 and he won a blow up Spongebob, a tiny dalmatian dog, a medium dolphin and a medium teddy bear. He loved it. He also rode some of the rides. The bumper cars were pretty funny. It was just him and another kid. They would spin around and around a circles. The worker would turn them around to face each other and they'd haul ass. At the last second before impact one would spin away, NEVER bumping into each other. The other kids Mom and I had a good laugh. T begged to go on this really tall slide. The kind where you get in a bag and slide down. The Husb went with him in case he got cold feet. Husb said it was a hell of climb. He kept looking back and shaking his head at me. I'm not stupid...I went thru the easy Fun House. They finally get to the top and T jumps in his bag, screams "Bye Dad" and is off like a shot. No fear. I'm really afraid of the teenage years!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Here Bassy Bassy Bass!

This weekend the Fam and I went to the lake. Our Niece that just moved to Austin met us out there. Just so you don't think we're some well to do snotty lake house owning family..let me explain. As some of you know, about 5 years ago a friend came to our group of friends because he couldn't afford to keep his lake house. After much discussion, a fee arrangement and a legal agreement, we came up with The Cedar Creek Raft and Tube Society. Or in short The RATS. Cute huh? Anyhow, basically each of the RATS has a full private week at the lake every 7 weeks. The owner has twice as many, and we have open play for holiday weeks...meaning everyone can come out and frolic. (That word makes me laugh!)

Saturday morning while lounging in bed, I could of sworn I heard the National Anthem. I get up and sure enough that what it is. Apparently this weekend was a National Champion Bass Tournament. WOW...LOT O' BOATs out there. Later, I tell the Husb and he's like, "Cool" and I'm like, "No really, there were a shit load of boats out there!" Sunday morning, I'm feeding the baby on the couch about 6am and in the distance can see lights on the public boat ramp. Lots and lots of boat trailers going up the hill. I go back to bed and wake up about 7am. I glanced out the window and damn...looked like the lights in down town Dallas. The Husb and I get up...and there are over 300 bass boats in our little part of the lake. How do I know there were more than 300 you ask? No, I did not count them. The announcer dude starts sending them out one by one. By the time the Husb starts listen to the numbers the guy is on 274 counting down. (I was inside getting coffee when they started. I know what's important, coffee makes me nice.) So off they went to find the biggest baddest bass around. Awesome site seeing all those fisherman standing in their boats at 7:15am, hands over their hearts in honor of the USA. Ain't America great?

Thursday, October 8, 2009

It's Official!

It's official...I've lost my damn mind! A little background, today I went to lunch at a friends...we call our selves "Ladies who Lunch..and Gentleman". I'm a flight attendant on leave, but when I'm working...I don't fly that much and have lots of days off. A few years ago my good friend K and I started having lunch during the week when she was off of work. She did job share and had the first half of the week off. Last year K was laid off so we really started lunching more. Another friend moved to town and decided to stay home with her kids, so she joined us. We've also added another occasional drop in that was laid off and a guy friend that was laid off several months ago. Hey, we're equal opportunity lunchers. We do all this when the kids are in school, because lets face it, kids are not conducive to good conversation. It's always, "Oh have you tried that new little Bistro on Main St.? STOP RUBBING THAT ROLL ON THE WALL!"

Now to the "I've officially lost my mind" part. Today on the way up to K's I get to calculating the exact minute I have to leave to pick up T from preschool. I decide if I leave 25 minutes til 3 I'll have plenty of time not to be charged a late pick up fee. A buck a's a racket I tell you! Now this all sounds good in theory, but guess what? T gets out of school at 2:00 not 3:00. He has NEVER gotten out at 3:00. WTH is wrong with me? I don't figure it out til 1:46 when I look down at my phone. Holy Shit it's almost 2PM!!!! I grab the baby, run for the door like I'm possessed all the while screaming thanks and sorry I've lost my damn mind. It's official.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Amuse me...

OK, I'll admit it, I'm very easily amused. Today for a mere $16.38 I purchased a tomb stone and skeleton parts from Walgreens. The Husb suggested we use the rock in the flower bed to make it look like the dude was crushed to death. I LOVE IT! It makes me so happy...I know I must be weird. Now if I can just find a gigantic spider to climb up the chimney, I'll be set. Halloween is so fun!

Monday, October 5, 2009


Things I like...

Baby & kid butts. They are too freaking cute! Poppy has started sleeping on his stomach with his butt in the air. I almost can't control myself...I want to grab that booty. T, well his little naked butt begs to be pinched. A friend and I were talking yesterday. She loves kiddy butts too, and wondered when it becomes inappropriate to pinch them. Think T & Poppy will mind when they're 16? Hehe!

The Husb being home. Ya don't realize how much you miss them til they go away for a few days.

Decorating for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. I love the fall! Summers here in Texas are just a bit too long, so when the cooler weather breaks thru and football season starts, life is good!

Mr. T singing to Rock music. He has started to become a bit of a sexist. He's almost 5 and a sexist. It's true. The boy wants to listen to Rock that guys sing, not girls. If a woman happens to be singing also, he'll tell me that part is mine to sing along too.

Reality TV. I love The Amazing Race and Survivor. Never want to be on either one. I don't love camping and I would be the raving bitch on The Amazing Race.

Things that bug me...

T waking me up early. The last two mornings at 6am...but then got to "sleep in" til 7am. I like to wake up on my own. I'm not friendly before my first cup of coffee.

Drawers that are over stuffed. It's my fault, I know. But dang...I sure am good a shoving the kids clothes in. A bunch of Poppy's clothes don't fit cause they were T's and a November baby and April baby don't match up on sizes. Guess I'll have to get off my butt and clear some out.

Washing out all the left over containers that are in the frig. Bugs me.

Pokeyman cards all over the floor of my room. Pick them up already!!!!

Things I wonder about...

Why do some people have all kinds of shit on the dashboard of their cars? I once heard a story of someone getting in a minor wreak and they were killed because a box of Kleenex impaled them in the head. It was sitting in the back window of their car. Do you think that's really true?

Where my cute spider candle holder and glittery skull is. Have I missed a box of Halloween decorations? It it in the scary garage?

Why do I have a baby that has blond hair? No one in either Husbs family or mine (besides nieces and nephew who got it from their Dad) have blond hair. The Husb had blond hair til he was about 4. Where did he get it???

Ok, those are my musings for the day!

Friday, October 2, 2009

I'm sick....

I'm a sick sick Mommy! Why do I find it bend over, grab your sides, laugh out loud funny that Mr. T is scared to death of those human size Mummy's and Monster's they sale at Garden Ridge and Michael's? I'm snickering just thinking about it. He is freaking hilarious! I'm so sick. Today we were at Garden Ridge going down the Halloween aisle. T loves skulls and most skeletons. I say most skeletons because he doesn't like the ones that have blood and ragged clothes. Freaks him out enough for him to say, "OK, OK, OK...let's go over there...let's not look at those...come on, come on!" That's cute, but dang, when you round a corner and he sees one of those Mummy''s enough to make ya pee on yourself. Poor guy.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Fun & Games!

I've had my fun and games, so now it's the Husb's time. Tomorrow he is headed out to go hunting. Funny thing is...he doesn't hunt. Those poor dove don't know what their in for. Darn things will be deaf for weeks. The Husb doesn't hunt mainly because a tragic hunting accident he witnessed as a kid. He's not warped or anything...but the story sorta warped me, so I won't go into it. Let's just say I'm opposed to my kids going hunting.

When I go on my merry way, I take wine and wasbi almonds. The Husb and friends...take "supplies". Tonight Husbs friend is coming for dinner and then they are going to shop...for supplies. Hehe. I talked to another friend today about the trip. Her husband left it 6:30 am this morning and apparently was a shopping fool last night. All I ask is that they are careful, don't hunt while drunk and please, please don't bring any bloody birds home. I've heard dove is gamey. I think I've tried it once, but it was wrapped in bacon. I truly believe I could eat a turd if it was wrapped in enough I don't recall if the dove was gamey.

Now I wonder what in the world are the kids and I going to do all weekend alone. I'm hoping there is a bunch of cash in the bank account. I then have a plan. I say, order pizza and Chinese, go to Home Depot and get a bunch of fall flowers to plant and continue decorating the crap outta the house for Halloween. Love Halloween, and yes, I've already decorated. Can you really have enough scary stuff? I don't really have a lot of scary stuff...but I'd like too. Humm...maybe this weekend. While the cats away, the mice will play.