When Insects Fly!

Last night started off pretty good and went down hill from there. We went to dinner with a bunch of family friends that are in Dallas for Texas/OU weekend. We do it every year. Apparently Poppy hates Pappadeaux and going out at bedtime. My angel baby turned into whiny baby. Mr T...not much better by the end of the night. We get home and all I wanted to do is watch my DVR'ed Grey's Anatomy. We put the kids to bed and sat down for an awesome show. Twenty minutes into it, a VERY large insect flies from the fireplace to the front door, changes it's insect mind and flies back to land on top of TV cabinet. I ask the Husb what the hell it was...a hummingbird? He gets up with a magazine in hand. It's a HUGE roach. (Also known as a water bug). But wait, roaches don't fly you say. Yeah, me too. I don't know if this was some freak mutant roach or an over achiever roach or what. The thing flew like a bird.

I love the Husb. He is really good at a lot of things. He sucks at killing roaches. He always misses. Rolled up magazines don't work. Crocs work. The Husb goes after the roach and guess what? He misses. Not such a big deal if it's not a mutant roach. This roach however launches itself off the TV cabinet and flies directly at my head. I jump off the couch all the while screaming curse words at the top of my lungs. The damn thing lands on the back of the couch and crawls down inside the couch. Excuse my language...fuck! I retrieve a Croc from the bedroom and start helping take all the cushions off the couch. After moving it around and lifting the couch the bastard crawls out and runs under the coffee table. He's trapped. Well guess what? Now we can't find him and I'm pissed. All I wanted to do was chill and watch Grey's. Now I'm on my hands and knees carefully taking all the books and shit off the shelf under the table. God forbid the damn thing fly out at me. After 10 minutes of looking, we give up. I'm pissed off big time. I watch the rest of Grey's while keeping an eye out for flying roaches.

Fast forward 1:20am. Baby is up. I get the bottle, the Husb feeds him. I go to the bathroom on the way back to bed. The bastard roach comes running into the bathroom. My Croc isn't handy so I grab a can of hairspray and blast him. He runs out down the hall. I whack him with the can and run to find my Croc. After 3 wacks the bastard is finally dead. Oh the sweet victory I feel. I do a happy dance in hallway and go to tell the Husb I've killed that Fucker. Dead dead dead! His response? "Umm...ok". Hello??? Just killed Mutant Cockroach! It was great. No matter what one might say about Crocs, Croc flip flops rock!